Anal training is a process that takes time. In this guide, we will walk you through the steps required to go from anal novice, to anal apprentice, as you prepare for anal sex.
Learn about your anatomy
Before inserting anything into your butt, it’s important to understand your anatomy. Knowing where things are located in your body is an important first step for anyone about to have anal sex. During anal sex the penis is inserted into the anus. Once inserted the penis pushes past the external sphincter muscle, internal sphincter muscles, and into the rectum. If you are a male, from inside your rectum you will be able to feel your prostate about 5 cm past your sphincter on your stomach side. Women do not have prostates. This is why the prostate is commonly referred to as the male G spot, whilst the clitoris is known as the female G spot.
What does all of this mean? Understanding the anatomy of the anus, can help you understand why many people find anal sex so pleasurable. The area around your prostate and your anus has many nerve endings. However, because it is so nerve-rich, it can also sense pain rather easily. Therefore, it’s important to build up to penetrative anal sex over time. Remember, we’re building you up for pleasure, not pain.
Consider why you want to train
Before you start training for anal sex, it’s important to consider why you want to train. You want to make sure that you are completely ready. Don’t decide to try anal training, or stretching for that matter, because you feel pressured to. If you’re not ready, then there is no need to pretend that you are ready. This fear can manifest itself in various ways in the bedroom. Your body could become tense, your anal sphincter could tighten causing pain upon penetration, and you may even have an unfortunate accident. So, essentially, being mentally relaxed and well educated about your body is key. Overall it should make the experience more enjoyable.
Get yourself clean
There are some basic hygiene practices you should observe before starting anal training. Have a shower or bath, trim your fingernails, and ensure that you’ve used the bathroom a few hours before starting. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to use an anal douche or have an enema before anal training, although many people do! We recommend the Lovehoney Anal Douche 7.6 fl. oz which is a great douche to use for the first time and one that will last a long time.
Invest in good anal lubricant
Unlike vagina’s, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate. This means that good quality anal lubricant is vital for anal play. This is probably the single most important element of anal sex! As a beginner, it can be difficult to know which lube is best for you. For anal finger play, and penetrative anal sex, we recommend silicone-based lubricants. Silicone-based lubricants are better for anal sex than water-based lubricants because they have a thicker consistency. This makes it easier for fingers and penises to slip right in. For a beginner we recommend the pjur Back Door Silicone Anal Lubricant! Relaxing Anal Glide Silicone lubricant. However, for sex toys, water-based lubricants are recommended as they are more compatible with latex, silicone, and rubber.
Start by using using your fingers
Before advancing to toys, you should start by using your fingers. Do the following in this order:
- Find a flat comfortable surface like a bed, or sofa
- Lay flat on your back, and bring your legs towards your chest pointing your knees to the sky
- If you’re right handed, grab the bottle of lubricant with your left hand and apply several squirts to a chosen finger on your right hand
- Rub the lubricant onto your finger
- Start by massaging your anal ring and slowly insert the tip of one finger
- If entry into your rectum is tight or too painful, practice breathing techniques to become more relaxed
- If you’re male, once inside and about one or two knuckles deep, about two inches inside, angle your finger up as you should feel a round bulb of tissue (the prostate)
- After trying with one finger, apply more lube to another finger, then try fingering yourself with two fingers
Move onto butt plugs and dildos
Once you feel comfortable with fingering, it’s time to move onto butt plugs. Butt plugs are usually stiffer than your average sex toy and give the wearer precise internal pressure. For men, butt plugs offer targeted P-spot stimulation, delivering some rather intense orgasms. However, they are still highly pleasurable for women too!
We usually recommend starting with a butt plug that has a circumference between 1 and 3 inches. The Lovehoney Jeweled Metal Medium Butt Plug 3 Inch from Lovehoney is ideal for first timers. This slimline anal plug goes from 1.6 inches in circumference, to 3.2 inches in circumference at its widest point. This means that you can start at 1.6 inches to begin with, and then push the toy further and further inside. Again, apply lubricant before starting to make it easier for the butt plug to slide in.
Size up in increments of up to 1 inch in circumference. This should give you a challenging, yet fun and doable stretch. However, don’t only practice with butt plugs. Use dildos too. Thrusting feels very different from plugging.