What Is Breadcrumbing?
Online dating is challenging at the best of times. Firstly, you’re interacting with someone that you know nothing about. Secondly, on top of the stresses involved in dating, you might find somebody that is also breadcrumbing you. Breadcrumbing is where someone provides just enough interaction (little crumbs) to keep you interested, but they are just leading you on. They are not really bothered about progressing things with you. In other words, they don’t have a true interest in dating you. They just enjoy having you there to keep them occupied and prevent them from feeling lonely. If you feel you may be getting breadcrumbed then keep reading this blog to learn the key signs.
Key signs of breadcrumbing
You are only recieving very short answers to your messages
Short predictable answers to your questions are a clear sign of breadcrumbing. This shows a lack of interest and laziness from the breadcrumber. Instead of blanking you they just feed you with a low effort response to keep you interested in them. Sometimes they even just send a singular emoji.
They dont make any real effort to meet up
They may entertain the idea of a drink or a date to the cinema, but you never actually receive a clear plan of action. They do not go out of their way to arrange something and never actively want to meet up.
Rarely are you asked about your life
There is very little or no interest in your life. You never receive a message asking how your day at work has been, or how you’re truly feeling. This lack of interest is obvious to your friends but maybe not to you. You keep making mental excuses for them.
There is no consistency in how they contact you
They may have started the conversation on Whattsapp but suddenly go quiet for a while, and then reach out to you on Instagram or Twitter. This lack of consistency ultimately means they aren’t invested in a prolonged and deep conversation with you, but just like the idea of keeping you at arms length.
There always seems to be an excuse for not speaking much
They always seem to make out that it’s been such a busy week or they’ve not been feeling well. These excuses are just lazy excuses to feed you a conversation. If they were truly into you they would go out of their way to explain whats really going on, and not fob you off with a generic ‘not been well’ excuse.
You hear more from them around special occasions
Valentines day is coming and suddenly you hear from them more. Or it’s the countdown to Christmas and up they pop in your dm’s. This increase in seasonal messaging is likely to be breadcrumbing. If they haven’t cared much throughout the year then they are probably just more lonely around the special occasions and want you in their life, but still at arms length. This elevated level of communication will likely drop off again after the occasion has passed.
You dont feel truely happy talking to them
You get a sense that they’re not really mentally involved with you and this makes you feel sad. You should always trust your gut instinct and often this is a sign you’re being breadcrumbed.
What to do if you're being breadcrumbed.
If you realise that some of these signs are happening to you then you can do something about it. Respect yourself, you do not owe this person anything. Either point out your concerns to your breadcrumber, or decide if they’re worth the hassle.
If you really like them then it could be worth explaining that you feel it is becoming a bit too one-sided. If the response is similar to how they’ve always replied, lacking real effort, then this is a clear sign they do not really care. They would be happy to keep breadcrumbing you.
Go and find someone that is truly into you and you will notice a huge difference in how this makes you feel.